THE SPEECH written by Ayala Nunez

“Now, of course, the image before you attached to this post isn’t me as from what can be observed from this very photo. Rather, it was meant to be a portrayal of me. In actuality, it’s an on-line google search shot of Filipino comedian ‘Jo Koy’ during one of his sold-out stand up comedy specials. But, this is exactly what it felt like when I was called to the front of the ‘proverbial room’ to speak about my father, Pedro P. Ayapana, who left this Earth on 6/09/26 in the Philippines whilst on vacation with my Mother to spend time with family, a ‘last-time’ reunion of sorts. So, this image was meant to depict a gathering held together to celebrate my Father’s life. This was essentially a ‘get-together-brunch’ arranged at an outside pavilion just adjacent to the church where funeral services were held in memory of my dear father. Now, there weren’t hundreds to thousands of people who attended this celebration of life, as depicted within the image, but it sure as heck’ felt that way.

So, let’s set the stage. This happened on a Monday, 6/29/26, in a suburb of Cleveland (Ohio) in the Midwest. On this day, synchronistically enough, was a special day amongst Catholics, recognized as ‘The Solemnity of Saints Peter and Paul’, Patrons of Rome. According to Chat GPT, this feast recalls the original bond that unites the Church in Rome with all the other Churches throughout the world in a communion of faith and charity. The witness of these two Apostles represents a seal laden upon a confirmation which connects to the validity of the Word of God within the New Testament, which prioritizes these two saints REVIEW SOURCE

Now, the reason why this particular feast day is quite so significant within this storyline, lies within the fact that this ‘celebration of life gathering’ for my Father, along with his funeral services, were arranged by my sister (Joanne) on the 29th of June. And, she was very adamant about this particular date for reasons that she was not so conscious about, prior. Little did she know that this specific date was precisely a ‘Patron Catholic Day’ which celebrates, not only the ‘Solemnity of Paul’ but also the ‘Solemnity of Peter’, himself. My Father’s name is Pedro, which also translates to ‘Peter’ in English. Coincidence? I think not! Don Ferfolia, director of Ferfolia Funeral Services, who conducted my Father’s funeral arrangements often called such oddities as ‘God Winks’. And, this particular small sample size (alone) couldn’t be any more appropriate than this which clearly defines the definition of such a label: A God Wink, indeed!

Moving forward, for me, considering how extremely hot it was on that particular day, at a humid 96 degrees during ‘Independence Day’ week, it felt more like 105 degrees, like literally steam coming-straight-out from a sauna, at a Lifetime Fitness. Although, seriously, this is the weather that I am normally not accustomed to. I moved from Cleveland to live in the Arizona desert 5-years ago. Temperatures there these days in June average between 105-110 degrees, but there is most certainly a difference. And, that difference lies within the fact that Arizona heat is a ‘dry heat’. At least, one can achieve a momentary state of relief within the shade, but heat within higher elevations of humidity (similar to that day on the 29th in Cleveland) you can never find such comfort. It could never be masked even in the shade. In other words, ‘Humid Heat’ is absolutely more unrelenting and unbearable!

And, the reason why I am focusing specifically upon this elevated humidity is because these were the conditions that I reluctantly found myself in, prior to being called to execute a speech of sorts in front of this crowd of people, for which I was not prepared for. Considering my long-stemmed history of general anxiety and invariable panic attacks which can come unexpectedly to no regard, at that very moment, I was pouring with abnormal amounts of unstoppable perspiration, literally like a broken faucet, extremely distressed from swollen feet, actively grieving of course, emotionally unstable, and most certainly unprepared, let alone for a speech in front of an audience, an audience filled with family, former co-workers of my father, both miscellaneous friends of adversity and all kinds of unfamiliar faces. Furthermore, none of this helped to simmer-down the nervousness.

And, as the ticker began to tock, as my sister completed her Grammy Award-winning speech, along with my brother Jason’s entertaining and quite witty stand-up comedy special, the spotlight then switched to little ‘ol me. Seriously, how could I ever compare? They both did such a wonderful job, as they kept their composure, playing harmoniously from deep within their own wits. Again, I was not prepared mentally or emotionally…

What seemed like a million slow-motion minutes in transition when my brother handed me the ‘mic’, was only a mere measely seconds when once I held the microphone firmly in hand, and there it was, total and utmost chaos, an instability that lied bestilled within the ill-witted candor of my darting mind, my fragile heart and punctured spirit! But, you would have never known this to be the case from the safety, comfort and shade provided from behind the wall of my cheap Walmart sunglasses. For days, I wrote in my notepad the exact words I would have originally used instead within this speech, but I lost it during my travels somewhere along the lines between the desert and the Midwest. And, so I only had one place to speak and read from, and it lied within my heart. For a split second, I began to remember the requirements covered from within a TED TALK PRESENTATION years ago, put together from this one popular Youtube influencer who often taught online public speaking conferences. And, the requirement spoken of rather frequently within his talks was that he outlined that it all was quite quick, clear, and simple: Be Sincere, Be Honest, Make the Eyes Tear, and add a Touch of Humor.

Right off the bat, I layed-it-out with pure honesty and sincerity and simply proclaimed to the crowd, ‘To tell you the truth, I really didn’t come prepared. I had written my speech earlier, but along the way, I’ve just decided to throw it out the window (crowd laughs) because of the significantly rising nervousness and built-up anxiety. So very sorry.”

I also mentioned within my somewhat seemingly disorganized nomenclature that when I found out about my father’s death, I had to let my supervisors know from my job at the hospital to begin the bereavement process that very same week of my Father’s death. But, in all actuality, it was the most terrible decision to make, as I began to think and ponder even more deeply to the very darkness of the trauma of this horrific event that (at the time I didn’t know) would essentially alter my view of reality in ways of which misconstrue my perceptions to the vulnerability of life, our mortality, and in how I allowed to envision the improbability and unpredictability of the future. In times like these, it is quite horrifying to even think about the power of the mind’s subconsciousness in how it can negatively play elusive tricks and manipulative mind-control games upon the very root of your own psyche’. In times like these, our minds are very fragile.

So, as a resolution to this, after the weekend of my father’s passing, I decided to ask nurse management if I could return to work the following week before taking flight, in resuming my bereavement time off, to return to Cleveland to attend my Father’s funeral. And, of course, they said ‘Yes!’ This, within the long run, became very therapeutic for me. Seriously, I needed to be around people. I needed to stay busy. I needed to be distracted. I needed to be around my Veterans. This is when I informed the audience that I was, not only a Veteran of the US Air Force (myself), but also a Registered Nurse actively playing the role of ‘Case Manager’ in serving the men and women (Veterans) of the US Armed Forces. This is when I started to see some heads turn from within the crowd. Then, this is when I started to scan the audience. This is when I began to read ‘The Room’. This was a Catholic crowd… and I had almost forgotten the extreme importance of this.

And, this is when I pulled-out from my hat a specific Scripture! Go figure! I told the room that I often wondered why the Almighty had put me through so much loss, suffering, and anguish, through two divorces and the loss of my son in 2014. And, profoundly enough, the answer that came back to me in return from the Almighty Father was perfectly clear: ‘The reason why I had put you through all of this… darkness… is so that you can be of service to those for which you will come to heal and treat. Listen, because of your losses and of the trauma you have faced and experienced, you (too) can now meet your client (The Veteran) at eye-level… to help the Veteran with clarity, honesty, and authenticity.’ So, during the very week when I decided to return back to work, this is when one of my Veterans brought up the Book of Proverbs during the tail-end session of his short-term therapy with me for mental health collaborative engagement, more specifically Proverbs 3:5-6, and it reads…

“Trust in Him with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways, acknowledge the Creator. Acknowledge the Father’s ways and indeed He will make straight your path, to bring clarity to understanding.” [MASHLAY] Proverbs 3:5-6

To the eyes of children alone, let alone if we are to make parallels to even ‘Children of the Most High’, funerals may be perceived as merely the digging of soil to prepare a space for the remains of the deceased. From there, the hole is then replaced by the very same soil dug-up. But, in actuality, when we are to place our focus (instead) more upon the wisdom and understanding of the Highest Power (Our Almighty Father), like earth-born parents, fathers and mothers alike, there is another realm of possibility for which we can further bring into light for better clarity for heightened understanding! Thus, we are (not only digging-up the dirt to make space for something else). Rather, that particular ‘something else’ is indeed the seed that we are planting today! And, that seed is Pedro P. Ayapana, my Father!

Now, before I go any further, I must randomly break the story-telling with this in mind. This statement and/or declaration may even be a ‘HIPPAA Violation’ of sorts, for vital medical information will be released to you concerning the heart condition of my Father, diagnosed a year-and-a-half ago. It was discovered through ‘cardiac catheterization’ that my Father had an arterial block to the left portion of his heart. It was over 90% occluded. Normally, such a block would require either stint placement or even open heart surgery depending on the severity and the particular conditions relating to the block; but miraculously enough, lateral circulation developed around this particular block. In many ways, this in and of itself bought time for my father. This lateral circulation which miraculously manifested from within itself bought my Father time. If I were a gambling man, in many ways this seemingly random lateral circulation can be translated as a literal jackpot, luck manifested coupled with absolute perfect timing. It was the lottery that my Father wanted to hit, throughout all this time since moving to the United States, but in a different form. So, essentially, this particular time bought back by the blessing of the Almighty Father can be perceived, coincidentally enough, as ‘House Money.’ Listen, this ‘House Money’ is essentially borrowed time…

Now, for every interaction for which each and every one of you had encountered with my Father from all of those years bought by casino ‘House Money’, blessed onto my Father by the Most High and Almighty; these additional-ancillary interactions indeed are bonus seeds planted within your heart.

After talking intimately with so many family members and friends, from the past few days since flying-in to Cleveland for the Wake and Funeral, I was quite intrigued and flabbergasted by the way my Father had touched so many hearts, not just in the general sense, but rather in the most astonishing and extraordinary of ways.

What my Father had planted within each and every one of you is literally derived from ‘bought time’: Seeds of, not only an additional blessing, but also intuitively, quite profound planted within you! Does this make sense? Without this borrowed time, my Father would have never had that chance to spend that intimated and tender time with you.

Hypothetically speaking, if the Almighty Father informed you that (guess what) on this specific day, this day in particular will be your last. Now, how would you spend the remaining days of your life? In all actuality, my Dad (Pedro P. Ayapana) would have spent it exactly the same way that he did when he first stepped right off of that plane in early June 2026, later spending the last days of his life in the Motherland, from where everything had all started in Pagbilao, where he was born, from whence the seed was planted. And, the last time I checked, from all the video and photos taken by family shared on social media, text and FaceTime video, my Father had the time of his life! My mother didn’t want it, but my Father threw the biggest birthday party for my mother on her 77th birthday in Pagbilao. Talk about rolling ‘Double 7’s’, right? Hey, life is a gamble, and my Father was never afraid to take a gamble at life. He lived it to the fullest! Additionally, my Father also came back to the Philippines to celebrate his older sister’s wedding anniversary: Over 60 Years of Marriage! My Father came to celebrate, and in many ways he knew from within his spirit that it would be the last of his days because he simply knew.

And, here’s another proverbial ‘God-Wink’. According to Filipino tradition, when a person passes away, 9-days are spent to prepare the soul on their journey to meet and return back to the Creator. Within these 9-days, family and friends are guided to speak in remembrance of the deceased. They pray and eat together. They mourn and grieve. But (guess what), my Father passed away on 6/09/26. My family who flew to the Philippines for this literal reunion of sorts… left and took their flight on their way back to the United States on 6/18/26. Just do the math, and you will find that ‘9’ exact days were spent to do just that… in tradition for preparation of my Father’s soul to meet his maker. Ladies and Gentlemen, this is not a coincidence. This was done outright with intention. My Father did it exactly ‘His Way’. And, ‘I DID IT MY WAY’ was his favorite song. This was the very same Karaoke Song by Frank Sinatra that my Father sang during my Mother’s 77th birthday party. Before his death, my Father wanted to plant seeds within each and every one of you…

And, today, is representative of the very ‘Planting of that Seed’ in remembrance. Furthermore, as we replace the very same soil dug-up, we water that ground set-apart with, not only tears of grief and mourning, but also with tears of joy and of perpetual growth derived from the root of a brand new harvest. From there, the Almighty Father shall bring forth all things anew:

‘Behold, I am doing a new thing; now as it springs forth. Do you not perceive it? I will make a way in the wilderness and also rivers within the desert.’ [YASHAI-YA’OH] Isaiah 43:19.

From there, the ‘proverbial room’ erupted with startling applause. Smiles were seen. Tears were wept. Some mouths stayed perfectly wide-open. And, honestly, I really couldn’t tell you who exactly spoke through my mouth during those ‘17-TED Talk’ minutes, because it sure as heck wasn’t me! For sure, it was most certainly the Holy Spirit! The spirit of the Almighty Father spoke through me. Like I told you from the very beginning, I was totally unprepared. Praise the Almighty Father! We bring glory to You and only You!!! Dad, I hope that I made you proud, not only within this moment, but in life. Regardless, I am so very proud to be your son. You were always my inspiration from the very get-go! You were always there when I needed you the most! You will be dearly missed. One day, I will see you again, but not today. Listen, the very reason why I live today, is because of you.” ~Ayala Nunez